I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately and felt that many of them weren’t good enough for my Friday Night Movie Recommendation or to even have their own post really, but I wanted to still write about them for posterity’s sake. So here they are! The mediocre and the horrible; the “Meh, that wasn’t bad, I guess” and the “Why didn’t I turn this off an hour ago?!”; the best of the worst and the worst of the worst. Let me know your thoughts.
These are movies that are good but not great. They didn’t deserve their own post but they are worth a quick watch. The best way to describe them is that you’re glad you watched it but you wouldn’t want to watch it again.
This movie showed up on my Netflix feed so I gave it a go and it turned out to be pretty decent. It’s about a family that moves into an old manor with the goal of restoring it. Soon enough, strange things start happening and it seems like there is a ghostly spirit in the house.
This movie hits all the haunted house clichés and does have some creepy moments (there’s a blood massage which is pretty uncomfortable) but it doesn’t bring anything new or innovative to the table. The acting is decent and the whole movie was carried by Olivia Williams who plays Meg.
Give it a go and let me know your thoughts.
I heard about this one from my buddy, Dr. John. You can check out his review of it here. He warned me that it wasn’t that great but I watched it anyways, and guess what? It wasn’t that great. But again, it did have some scary moments and the premise was interesting, although the ending was really aggravating.
The Canal is about a man who suspects his wife of cheating, follows her to who he assumes is her lover’s house and catches them in the act. He remembers going home afterwards but wakes up to find that his wife has gone missing and he becomes the main suspect in her disappearance. As the investigation continues strange things start happening (sounds like a bit of a theme for the “Good” movies) and he does everything he can to figure out what happened.
Overall, this isn’t one that you have to watch, the story line pulls from a lot of other horror movies and as such, isn’t very original. The last 20 minutes have some good scares and a really disturbing moment but the very end is a huge let down.
These are movies that were pretty much a waste of time. You wish so-and-so hadn’t recommended it or that you hadn’t stumbled across it on Netflix. They may have some redeeming qualities but overall they’re pretty bad.
Remember how I almost didn’t watch The Sacrament because the freeze frame on Netflix was so bad? Well, this one was the exact opposite. The freeze frame looked so great! It looked like a well shot wilderness survival movie, so I was really excited. I don’t know about you, but I think The Edge is amazing, so I was expecting a B version of that movie. Not even close to the case, unfortunately.
The dialogue is really poor. None of the conversations sound natural, to the point where it was so bad that I had to laugh. Also, maybe I’m giving myself and my friends too much credit, but the characters in this movies lose their cool really quickly. Maybe I don’t have a good idea of what would happen in a crisis situation because I felt the same way about Coherence but I genuinely feel like we wouldn’t fall apart and break down until we had at least tried to solve things first.
Another thing, the first glimpse of the villain… How did they not see him?! He was standing right beside them! That part actually drove me nuts. There were so many inconsistencies in this movie, or parts that just didn’t make sense. Why do the villains text each other when they’re sitting beside each other? Why did one of them almost drown his friend? The character development was so poor. These choices could have made sense if they had just developed them even the slightest bit.
Bad bad bad. How do movies like these get made?
The Really Bad
These ones are the real bottom-of-the-barrel garbage. The “I can’t believe I wasted 90 minutes of my life watching this…” movies. The movies that end and you sit there for a minute or two trying to understand what happened and how these movies get made in the first place.
This one is about Bigfoot. I feel like that’s enough said. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a good Bigfoot movie (Harry and the Hendersons is one of my favourites!) but it’s so easy for it to turn out terribly, like this one did. I don’t think the filmmakers were even really trying with this one.
Basically, five friends travel into the woods (horror movie cliché much?) for a camping trip and they run into something with their car on the way. Whatever it is runs off into the woods and dies (SPOILER: it’s Bigfoot’s baby) and they decide to continue on their trip anyways.
Then, a really angry Bigfoot chases them all throughout the forest, seeking revenge… blah blah blah… I honestly feel so ridiculous even writing this. To top it all off, did I mention that it’s a found footage movie?
Skip this one at all costs.